The topic for today is designed to highlight the achievements of mankind. The list consists of things that have made this Little Big Planet that we live on easier to live on and all in all more enjoyable. Much of this list was gathered through street surveys and as always feel free to add a comment if you feel that something should have been added. So with out further haste Lego!!!
12) Medicine: Now whether you are talking about the great shaman of the Native people or modern doctors trying to perfect stem cell research the result has always been the same. To better and extend the life of man, now it is a given if you look back on the earlier times a lot of things were misdiagnosed for example insanity mistaken for possessions…just sounds insane but at the time it made since to the people in charge. Now I promised my readers I would not get into a side rant about money but it really is sad that society has devolved to the point where staying healthy mirrors your annual income. The country I adore and enjoy abiding in Canada seems to have a rather good health care system as does much of Europe and Australia. I do believe though that America is simply a greedy bunch of devils. Anyways without advances in medicine there is a good chance that we would not be here right now or here in the same condition we are now. So thank you all those blessed with the gift of healing.
11) Condoms: You may laugh at first but no one wants to get phoned from the Dr. saying “Hello sir, how are you? Good ok well here is some news for you; you have AIDS and will soon die.” This is definitely a bad way to have breakfast. Now a brighter reason to be thankful for condoms is that I am sure people have seen two couples walking along and think wow!! I pray they never have kids. Because contrary to popular belief 2 people do not make a pretty child and some people should become monks and nuns and remain celibate just saying. All in all I would like to think that these would keep the human race constantly evolving but I can’t say it always works because George W. Bush did get conceived and grew up and ran a country. He ran it into the ground but he still gets credit for being president. But seriously kids and hard headed adults, no one will admit to having a STD its like getting away with shoplifting but coming back and returning it because you have a good conscious; DON’T rely on it. Some things can not be cured be safe and wrap it up.
10) Automotive Transportation: It started with the wheel and man did humans run with it. From a ford model t all the way to a G5 airplane, walking and running has become a better sport then a means of transportation. Call it innovation or laziness if people can not get there by something powered by oil most likely they will never arrive. I mean who really wants to WALK somewhere come on the word just sounds slow. The meaning of horse power must be 3 digits long and the first number better at least be a 3. I do feel kind of bad about having this so low on the list but that just shows how awesome this list is. But all means of transportation have and still are steadily evolved not much denying or need for explaining there. To some it up, fast, fast and faster!!!
9) Telescopes: Now some may not understand why I placed this one on the list. If that is so that simply means you have no since or exploration and you have never had a hot neighbor. Very few items ever created can be seen with an equal divide of good and evil besides the telescope. It has been used to bring man closer to the stars and closer to getting laid. It allowed man to look up in the sky and see planets and moons that he would one day visit. And it allowed boys to look across the street into rooms that he would one day go where many men either have been or will go. The hubble telescope has allowed scientist and observers to come closer to time travel by literally looking so far in space that they can see how the universe used to look and how it has and still is growing. Space has always made humans seem as insignificant as a leaf because we are here and gone before space even blinks. So as you can see the telescope has helped mankind in more ways then one. And let us also mot forget the microscope same concept and it has helped medicine drastically. Again now that I am typing this I do feel that this probably should have been higher up I mean it truly is an extraordinary invention but on to the next one.
8) Chuck Norris: Yes I did it…and here is a spoiler alerts he is the person on this list why? Did you really just ask why? Just for thinking that you deserve a roundhouse kick to the head. The only man that beard hides a fist that can knock out mike Tyson and the only man that is capable of counting to infinity. Chuck Norris is…is he is Chuck Norris. I know that automotive transportation was on the list but no vehicle can compete with a UNICORN. I mean the man sorry the entity known as Chuck Norris fought and destroyed bruce lee anything that says different is a fraud. I was going to put down his birth date but then I remembered that he time traveled through time space to give birth to him. It’s super complicated but it has something to do with gravity and roundhouse kicks. If you don’t believe me just Google the word Chuck Norris…go ahead I will wait…
7) Ramen: The savior of bachelor’s and poor people everywhere!!! No other food costs $1.30 and gives you so much I mean with $5.00 you can eat for a literal month. Add water wait 4minutes and BOOYAH you have a snack. I mean who really wants to get up and cook at 10 or 11pm? No one; that is insane just makes some ramen and let me get back to playing my video games!!! The number one food that all people get once they move out on there own is Ramen. And the list for ways you can make them better goes on and on and on. I mean you take some chicken flavored ramen cook it up throw in some bacon man talk about some good eating. And sadly it gets better. In Asia they have Roast pork Ramen I mean longer and better noodles with actual meat!!! HEAVEN in Asia I mean very few things are amazing to me every single time. But Ramen is one that never gets old and it is always tasty. And I feel that number 7 is a perfect spot for this amazing dish. Again this is the only food on this list so that should say loads.
6) Music: Whether you are listening to the sounds Journey while trashed in a bar or holding the one you love and being serenaded by Steven Tyler or even blasting disturbed to drown out the sound of your feuding parent’s music has provided mankind with an escape from reality since before the beginning of time. As a matter of fact even satan in his glory days when he was known as Lucifer and was the highest of angles job was to coordinate worship sessions with beautiful songs for the Almighty. Man what a sound that must have been. Regardless of your mood or occasion music is always present and probably a shocker to many of why this is on the list at all. But imagine 1 day just 1 day without any music. No ring tones, no radio no music in movies or commercials. I do not want to live in a world without music. Who was it Bach? That was deaf and still made beautiful music now if that does not say something to you then nothing will. Music plays a part in all of our lives each and every day and at number 6 it easily is nice and comfy.
5) Marijuana: Now we spoke about medicine at number 12 and this is probably the most natural of medicines that is on the planet. It is not a drug and does not meet the requirements of the word drug in any manner. It is a plant nothing more nothing less, but this is not a post about about morality or definitions this is a list of 12 greatest creations of all time!!! And at number 5 mary jane aka the sticky icky aka weed and on and on the plant that brings the munchies. The one girl that never lets you down; is here and raining supreme, if you’re sad it will make you feel better. Weed has an active ingredient called fuck it. And just as it sounds it will make you say that to any problem that you have simply roll, pack, or however put fire to eat or ingest and wait for happiness to find you. Not one medical death has been documented due to smoking this plant. Now the same can not be said for cigarettes. Yet they remain legal in all corners of the globe. That really pisses me off. You telling me that you can smoke this addictive item and I can die and it’s legal? But if I smoke this and you inhale it we both get hungry and happy but you say I am a criminal? As a friend of mines would say that is ass backwards. But that is for another post and yes it will come. But for now the verdict is in legal or not if you have your hands on some grade a weed? You are in for a good time point blank and thank you Native Americans and Blacks and every other person that has perfected this plant. I say thank you so much for contributing to the happiness and evolution of human kind. In my opinion man is separated from animal by his ability to find a way to make his life happy even though it really sucks...and weed helps that.
4) Thongs: I had to do this sadly a personal pet peeve of mines is panty lines. Nothing messes up a nice pair of pants hugging a very nice bootay then some freaking panty lines. The solution, a thong!!! And the good keeps getting better, now once those nice pants happen to get removed (now how or if that happens is beyond my recognition) but when that act of God does happen behold in front of you the greatness of flesh. Not some more fabric that you have to tear through to get to the Promised Land but flesh. Now in my personal opinion you actually get to decide at this point if you should proceed or not...Ok sorry I am getting off topic. Thongs drive most men wild and allow women to fell even sexier that is the definition of a win, win. I think the first time one was made was during some women’s movement blah blah blah lets say thank you whoever created them and please allow them to get smaller and sexier because a world with out thongs is a world full of...I have no clue what that world would be like.
3) Professional Wrestling: WOOOOHHH here we go the final 3 and who better to bring in this creation then the leader of the click Shawn Michales the Heartbreak Kid aka HBK. During the 90’s schools world wide were flooded with pre teens and teens running around school giving middle fingers and throwing up the DX suck it sign. Every child growing up has dropped a sibling with a ddt or made some friend cry for there MAMA with a figure 4 leglock. At number 3 professional wrestling has defined many cultures. It teaches fearlessness, builds character, and lets you release a ton of frustration. I can’t speak for everyone but I know personally I wanted to be a pro wrestler ever since I was in the 6th grade. Without a doubt but again that is another story instead I am here trying my luck out as a blogger. Hit up the ads people I gots kids to feed. I was told to bring in sports in general but it gets to gray football may be soccer baseball is fun in person but not on tv golf is not s sport blah blah blah. You do not find people that don’t enjoy wrestling. Now I really don’t like to hear the whole wrestling is fake argument and UFC is the real thing whatever. Those guys fight like once every 6 months and only certain weights pro wrestlers fight multiple times a night and a week and do amazing stunts. But yes WWE of today is horrible but whatever there is still good wrestling out there cough cough TNA. Jeff Hardy is the king of extreme Rob Van Damm loves weed and all is good in TNA so I ask you people WHY SO SERIOUS!!!! P.s. talk about this post and you may get scissor kicked right in the back of your head!!!
2) Zombies: Bringing in number 2 I announce to you zombies. Thank you to George A. Romero the world and media has been flooded with zombie fever. Originally started as voodoo witchcraft with the word zombie, now even the CDC has an official zombie survival guide. People from Resident Evil to a million b rated films even Ghostbusters’s (which I am platinum certified on PS3) has fallen to the epidemic. Please read an earlier post of mines for a very good “How to survive the zombie apocalypse,” sadly low budget films and horrible remakes have butchered a lot of good zombie plots. But don’t be fooled it is very possible and will happen one day. Zombies have an entire sub culture out there, one full of zombie killers aka slayers. Every culture on the planet has some sort of zombie or something very similar to it. The creation and the belief in the undead returning to life is as human as breathing oxygen. By simply not agreeing with zombies being in this line up simply means that you have never ever done research on it and if you don’t know the science then you can’t place an argument that is the rule...or mines at least. And remember just because you don’t believe in something does not mean that it does not exist.
1) Satellites: And rounding out the list (I admit this was longer then I initially intended it to be) is the creation of satellites. Now why satellites you ask? Cell phones, smart phones, gps, military weapons, the INTERNET all reliant upon satellites with no satellites skyping and ooving would be non existent. It allows for people world wide to sit in there undies and oogle pics and learns everything about anything. You could pick anything on this list hop on the internet and Google it and become an expert on it in moments. That is knowledge and knowledge equals power. Without a doubt satellites have earned the top spot on this list. And not just for convenience but space travel and knowledge without docking stations without MIR these trips would be much more difficult if not impossible to have. You can look at satellites like a huge umbrella. It is one device with a bunch of smaller functions, those functions breed other functions all dividing the work it is pure ingenious. I mean without the internet this post and all my thoughts would just stay boggled up in my head and I would drive my friends and family insane with non stop and in coherent rants so thank you for creating the internet satellites so I can force the entire world to hear the ravings of this mad man. Even though I make sense majority of the time, and no you shouldn’t believe everything on the internet but you should believe the things that I type because I typed it so yes it is true.
So that is my list 5 pages long according to word. So there you have my inventions as always please comment like or dislike click on the ads if there on the page yet in support or the anarchist sanctuary where defiance is law and freedom always reigns supreme so until next time keep fighting the good fight and always fight dirty.
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